Every once in a while, Facebook serves to alter the course, or at least the attitude of a person's life. Tonight, I think that may have happened to me. By chance, I was scrolling through the status updates and came across one from a MOPS friend about a little 2 year old girl, Layla Grace, who is going through her final days in her battle against cancer, barring a miracle from God. Within moments, I was in tears. Granted, it doesn't take much, but this was different. I was being given a window view of someones pain while they said goodbye to their daughter. I came back a little later after I had calmed down and read a past post about regret... and I realized that I am an incredibly selfish and unaware person. I'm not saying I'm a bad person, and I'm not looking for someone to tell me, "No you aren't." Across the hall from me sleep two beautiful and healthy little boys who would make any mother beam with pride to call them her sons. And I spend too much of the day wishing they would be quiet, or let me get the dishes done, or stop fighting, or pick up their sippy cup, or the list goes on and on, but you get the point. And I don't realize that at any moment, God could call them home and that would be it. There would be no more time to mediate an argument or celebrate milestones or blow bubbles or watch as they set their determination on mastering the art of climbing up the wall of an inflatible bounce house.
It's not just my kids that I have this attitude with... it's everything. I have been walking through life in a dream. I have big plans, but I don't follow through. Why? It's not because I can't. It's because I am blind to the gifts I have. I have wall-papered over the pain and joy in my life. I have refused to embrace it while I have professed to be growing as a person. And yet, when push comes to shove, I step aside.
Bad things happen to good people. It's nothing personal. And good things happen to bad people. Again, it's nothing personal. We have free will. Like with the boys, I often give them a choice. It's not always a good choice, but they always have a choice. I have a choice. I can embrace the good and the not so good in my life and live as though every moment had meaning, or I can waste the finite time I have been given and fill it with regret and wishes.
While I have never met Layla Grace, she has opened my eyes and changed my heart, and if she is called Home, I hope it will give her family some small happiness to know that in such a short time, their precious little girl has changed the world.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
February Recap
At the beginning of the month, I posted a challenge for each hat, so I thought it would be good to review and set the new (or continued) challenges for March... this should be interesting.
Wife: So this month, I will honor our marriage by consciously thinking about what I can do to help him have a better day. I've struggled with this from day to day... as part of my Lenten preparation, I am doing the Love Dare, and while our marriage is a good one, I'm finding that we don't always treat each other as kindly as I once thought. Not to say we are down-right mean, but we are gifted in pushing each others buttons. For March, I will work harder to change the way I respond to my awesome husband and hopefully I will see that returned.
Mother: For the next 26 days, I will do something constructive and creative with my children. Much better than in the past... still a bit more to go. We've revamped our daily schedule so that we can all (hopefully) accomplish what we need from the day. God grant us the serenity as I implement these changes.
Friend: Whether it's a quick note or a long letter attempting to catch up with old friends, I'm going to send a letter. Horrible... I didn't send a single letter... so we're going to try it again... I am, however, making sure I send happy birthday notes on Facebook... it's got to count for something.
Writer: This is the easiest challenge to decide on, yet the hardest one to accomplish... I have a deadline of Feb 28, 2010 (strike that and replace with March 20, 2010) to finish the final draft for peer review.
Activist: This one is one I've been wanting to do for years but haven't. I'm switching out all of our cleanign supplies to "green" cleaners. Done... whoohooo... for next month, I'm going to reorganize our recycling so things don't fall through the cracks.
Soul (formerly Catholic): This month, I'm going to spend time not only reading the daily scripture, but I'm going to take time to reflect and meditate on what the words mean to me. Better, but not good enough... try again in March.
Adventurer/Athlete: The mini is coming and so is my 36th birthday. This is the year to make a change in the way I treat my body. Keep going, maybe this month will get it right!
Foodie: Following up on that last line, this months challenge is to make every meal, excluding special occassions, at home. I would say I scored about 80% on this one... this month, I'm going to keep the same goal and add try at least three new dishes a month and if there's something I really like, get the recipe in my recipe box!
Reformed Spend-a-holic: One thing builds upon the next! This month, I am going to make a grocery budget and I am going stick to it!So aced this one... next month, stay on our monthly budget and resist temptation to stray!
Athlete: See Adventure/Athlete
Homemaker: My house looks like it has been overrun by the messy elves and they have done a whopper of a job. So this month, I'm going to go room by room and take back my house by not only deep cleaning, but declutter. The elves can't trash what they can't find! And March is the new February!
Crafty: Since I'm going to be writing letters to friends and family, I need to bulk up my card stash . This month, I will finally get my scrapbooking area cleaned up and spend a couple nights making cards to send out! Repeat for March!
Well there you have it... an "eh" month... next month will be better... I see spring on the calendar and soon the butterflies will thaw... it's a great time to be alive!
Wife: So this month, I will honor our marriage by consciously thinking about what I can do to help him have a better day. I've struggled with this from day to day... as part of my Lenten preparation, I am doing the Love Dare, and while our marriage is a good one, I'm finding that we don't always treat each other as kindly as I once thought. Not to say we are down-right mean, but we are gifted in pushing each others buttons. For March, I will work harder to change the way I respond to my awesome husband and hopefully I will see that returned.
Mother: For the next 26 days, I will do something constructive and creative with my children. Much better than in the past... still a bit more to go. We've revamped our daily schedule so that we can all (hopefully) accomplish what we need from the day. God grant us the serenity as I implement these changes.
Friend: Whether it's a quick note or a long letter attempting to catch up with old friends, I'm going to send a letter. Horrible... I didn't send a single letter... so we're going to try it again... I am, however, making sure I send happy birthday notes on Facebook... it's got to count for something.
Writer: This is the easiest challenge to decide on, yet the hardest one to accomplish... I have a deadline of Feb 28, 2010 (strike that and replace with March 20, 2010) to finish the final draft for peer review.
Activist: This one is one I've been wanting to do for years but haven't. I'm switching out all of our cleanign supplies to "green" cleaners. Done... whoohooo... for next month, I'm going to reorganize our recycling so things don't fall through the cracks.
Soul (formerly Catholic): This month, I'm going to spend time not only reading the daily scripture, but I'm going to take time to reflect and meditate on what the words mean to me. Better, but not good enough... try again in March.
Adventurer/Athlete: The mini is coming and so is my 36th birthday. This is the year to make a change in the way I treat my body. Keep going, maybe this month will get it right!
Foodie: Following up on that last line, this months challenge is to make every meal, excluding special occassions, at home. I would say I scored about 80% on this one... this month, I'm going to keep the same goal and add try at least three new dishes a month and if there's something I really like, get the recipe in my recipe box!
Reformed Spend-a-holic: One thing builds upon the next! This month, I am going to make a grocery budget and I am going stick to it!So aced this one... next month, stay on our monthly budget and resist temptation to stray!
Athlete: See Adventure/Athlete
Homemaker: My house looks like it has been overrun by the messy elves and they have done a whopper of a job. So this month, I'm going to go room by room and take back my house by not only deep cleaning, but declutter. The elves can't trash what they can't find! And March is the new February!
Crafty: Since I'm going to be writing letters to friends and family, I need to bulk up my card stash . This month, I will finally get my scrapbooking area cleaned up and spend a couple nights making cards to send out! Repeat for March!
Well there you have it... an "eh" month... next month will be better... I see spring on the calendar and soon the butterflies will thaw... it's a great time to be alive!
A monetary celebration
At 9 am, we had 100% of our federal tax refund in our checking account. At 10am, all of it had been spent... on getting out of debt. Seriously, it was the best meeting of our financial minds we have ever had. Plus, we have a plan to get all of our debt expect for my student loan, in four years. I know you aren't supposed to talk about money, but quite frankly, I think that's what's wrong with the economy... or was wrong with the economy. No one wanted to fess up to the fact that they couldn't keep up with everyone else, except very few people could actually keep up in the first place, so who were you keeping up with? (Did that make sense?)
All I know is that I am liberated from that part of my past and intent on being liberated from the rest soon. We're taking Dave Ramsey and tweeking it for what our life plans are. It's not like we couldn't pay our bills or had creditor hounding us, or anything like that... we just weren't making our money work for us. What instigated this change? Well, Louis was offered a management position during the day, which would have been great, but he would have had to quit his PRN job. That would mean a lose of $30,000. We just aren't in a place where that will work. But we want to be there. The kids are getting involved in sports and soon enough, there will be scouting... there parents met at a boy Scout camp, so you know scouting is in our future, and a lot of those things happen at night. (Plus, I agreed to handle the Cub Scout thing, but I am not being a Boy Scout Leader. I know there are some women who do it, but I have no desire to be one of them... I want to send everyone in my home away for a week of camp and go to a spa!
It's not just the accomplishment of paying things off that has me running on a high... it's the idea that finally I have taken charge of things in my life. I've reworked our schedule so there is more time for the book, because the truth is, if the book sells, we get out of debt faster and I do not want to go back to the "traditional" workforce when the kids are in school. I want to be able to be home with them when they are sick or know their friends and provide a safe, warm place for their friends to hang out. I've given up the idea that I will have warm cookies ready when they walk in the door, but there will always be fresh fruit.
Speaking of the book, I am back on the writing train. It's been too long. For a few days, I couldn't "get into my characters head". You know how, after years, you run into someone you knew in high school, but really didn't keep in contact with and you make small talk, but after that, there's nothing left to say... that's how it was. But we've muddled through and are chums once again. I have a few crafty things to do today, but I'm hoping to work on the book some more tonight.
On Monday, I am beginning my second attempt to marathon edit the book to completetion. I am giving myself 20 days to finish and 10 days to print, bind and ship to my editor and three readers for feedback. Hopefully I'll get some responses by the end of April and I will be able to start submitting in May. During that time when my baby is being fostered by others, I will be working on my query letter and starting book two. I don't want to become strangers with my characters again.
Monday also begins my full-time training for the mini. For those of you now from around here, the mini is the half-marathon that is part of the Indianapolis 500 celebration. This year, I am doing it and it happens to fall on my 36th birthday. I plan on this being a changing moment in my life. Not since college have I taken on an athletic feet that required dedication and consistant practice. Plus, I want to prove to myself (and others) that I can do it. Monday is going to be a rough day, but I can do it!
I think I should end with that! Have a wonderful weekend and I look forward to posting more changes in my life!
All I know is that I am liberated from that part of my past and intent on being liberated from the rest soon. We're taking Dave Ramsey and tweeking it for what our life plans are. It's not like we couldn't pay our bills or had creditor hounding us, or anything like that... we just weren't making our money work for us. What instigated this change? Well, Louis was offered a management position during the day, which would have been great, but he would have had to quit his PRN job. That would mean a lose of $30,000. We just aren't in a place where that will work. But we want to be there. The kids are getting involved in sports and soon enough, there will be scouting... there parents met at a boy Scout camp, so you know scouting is in our future, and a lot of those things happen at night. (Plus, I agreed to handle the Cub Scout thing, but I am not being a Boy Scout Leader. I know there are some women who do it, but I have no desire to be one of them... I want to send everyone in my home away for a week of camp and go to a spa!
It's not just the accomplishment of paying things off that has me running on a high... it's the idea that finally I have taken charge of things in my life. I've reworked our schedule so there is more time for the book, because the truth is, if the book sells, we get out of debt faster and I do not want to go back to the "traditional" workforce when the kids are in school. I want to be able to be home with them when they are sick or know their friends and provide a safe, warm place for their friends to hang out. I've given up the idea that I will have warm cookies ready when they walk in the door, but there will always be fresh fruit.
Speaking of the book, I am back on the writing train. It's been too long. For a few days, I couldn't "get into my characters head". You know how, after years, you run into someone you knew in high school, but really didn't keep in contact with and you make small talk, but after that, there's nothing left to say... that's how it was. But we've muddled through and are chums once again. I have a few crafty things to do today, but I'm hoping to work on the book some more tonight.
On Monday, I am beginning my second attempt to marathon edit the book to completetion. I am giving myself 20 days to finish and 10 days to print, bind and ship to my editor and three readers for feedback. Hopefully I'll get some responses by the end of April and I will be able to start submitting in May. During that time when my baby is being fostered by others, I will be working on my query letter and starting book two. I don't want to become strangers with my characters again.
Monday also begins my full-time training for the mini. For those of you now from around here, the mini is the half-marathon that is part of the Indianapolis 500 celebration. This year, I am doing it and it happens to fall on my 36th birthday. I plan on this being a changing moment in my life. Not since college have I taken on an athletic feet that required dedication and consistant practice. Plus, I want to prove to myself (and others) that I can do it. Monday is going to be a rough day, but I can do it!
I think I should end with that! Have a wonderful weekend and I look forward to posting more changes in my life!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Day Two
Big surprise... it was harder to hold my tongue today with Louis. (Day Two of the Love Dare is the same as Day One, and continues for all 40 days.) I got a little snarky with him and when I stopped, he thought I was mad which prompted him to get snarky with me. It's funny, in 2 days I realized that while we have a good marriage, we don't always treat each other well. Perhaps my effort to adjust the way I treat my husband will have an added benefit of changing the way he treats me. We've been together so long that we know how to push each others buttons.
I wonder how often that happens in marriages. Surely we are not the exception. I wonder if it has always been like this or if we, as a society, have become so dissatisfied with our lives that we fail to see how our actions impact others. This is something I think I will discover, at least for myself, over these next several weeks!
I am starting the Purpose Driven Life tonight... too tired last night.
I wonder how often that happens in marriages. Surely we are not the exception. I wonder if it has always been like this or if we, as a society, have become so dissatisfied with our lives that we fail to see how our actions impact others. This is something I think I will discover, at least for myself, over these next several weeks!
I am starting the Purpose Driven Life tonight... too tired last night.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
A small note about this blog
Those who are nearest and dearest to me (or on my friends list on facebook) might be aware that I am a fanatic about editing my novel. However here, on my blog, I must confess that I write and post without even spell checking. It's not that I don't care and maybe one of the next few weekends, I will sit down and edit these posts, but for now, don't expect perfections. I have dedicated all my brain power to the red pen and the 399 page novel that haunts my dreams!
Day One
I know it's been a while... but it's been a busy week. My baby turned three on Sunday and now I don't feel like I can call him my baby anymore...mostly because he told me he's not a baby anymore. Then, I got to spend an evening with my CRHP team. Even though it's only been a few weeks since we were together, I was so excited to see them and the fellowship did not disappoint!!
But today is Ash Wednesday. Today is the day that I begin my 40 days of rehabilitation. I'm calling it that because in essence, it's what I'm doing. I'm focusing on changing the way I look at my marriage, I'm changing the way I look at my family. I'm changing the way I interact with God. And finally, I'm changing the way I look at myself.
Day One of the Love Dare hasn't been too hard... though there was a moment that I almost said something to Louis, but instead, I took what he said in strides, and now, several hours later, I can't even remember what he said that irritated me. Which made me think: How often do I get upset about something that really isn't a big deal? And furthermore, how often does my getting upset about something make it into a big deal, when it wasn't one to begin with? And honestly, holding my tongue led to a much more relaxed day overall. Now, if it had been something that really bothered me, I would have waited until I had calmed down and addressed it with Louis, but obviously, it wasn't.
The boys and I played with Play-doo this afternoon, and I will admit, I got a little frustrated as I tried to teach them how to use this made in China plastic contraption. Actually, what bothered me more was how they mixed the different colors together into a brownish pile, but then I realized play-doo is cheap. I can make it myself or by 4 cans for $2.50, so really, who cares... we were having fun.
Finally, I am attempting to do the Rosary every night. I have a special place for Mary... she is the most selfless mother ever to walk the Earth. She raised a child knowing that someday, she would watch her child die at the hands of His enemy. And yet she never lost faith. I feel one way I can grow closer to her is to pay my respects.
All in all, it's been a great first day of Lent!
But today is Ash Wednesday. Today is the day that I begin my 40 days of rehabilitation. I'm calling it that because in essence, it's what I'm doing. I'm focusing on changing the way I look at my marriage, I'm changing the way I look at my family. I'm changing the way I interact with God. And finally, I'm changing the way I look at myself.
Day One of the Love Dare hasn't been too hard... though there was a moment that I almost said something to Louis, but instead, I took what he said in strides, and now, several hours later, I can't even remember what he said that irritated me. Which made me think: How often do I get upset about something that really isn't a big deal? And furthermore, how often does my getting upset about something make it into a big deal, when it wasn't one to begin with? And honestly, holding my tongue led to a much more relaxed day overall. Now, if it had been something that really bothered me, I would have waited until I had calmed down and addressed it with Louis, but obviously, it wasn't.
The boys and I played with Play-doo this afternoon, and I will admit, I got a little frustrated as I tried to teach them how to use this made in China plastic contraption. Actually, what bothered me more was how they mixed the different colors together into a brownish pile, but then I realized play-doo is cheap. I can make it myself or by 4 cans for $2.50, so really, who cares... we were having fun.
Finally, I am attempting to do the Rosary every night. I have a special place for Mary... she is the most selfless mother ever to walk the Earth. She raised a child knowing that someday, she would watch her child die at the hands of His enemy. And yet she never lost faith. I feel one way I can grow closer to her is to pay my respects.
All in all, it's been a great first day of Lent!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Lent is coming
As a Catholic, I am encouraged to make a sacrifice during the fourty days of Lent. Normally I give up soda or cheese or something like that. But this year, I am taking a different approach. In honor of my journey to discover who I really am and what I am meant to do with my life, Lent will be a fourty day "marathon" of examination. First, I am attempting to complete the Love Dare. If you don't know what that is, Google it... you'll find a billion results for it. Second, I am going to look inward and begin The Purpose Driven Life. Again, Google will provide excellent explanations. Finally, I am going to pick one of my bad habits and break it. It's a lot to work on in fourty days, but I think this is the year to expect more from myself. The boys don't know it, but they two are going to sacrifice during Lent, though they are not expected to. We're cutting our TV time in half. Instead, I am filling the time with activities and outings.
I know this is a short post, but I am in the final push to complete the edits of the book. With any luck, the edits will be done by Feb. 28 and out to my readers by March 2nd or 3rd. Wish me luck and I will continue to update this blog with my progress.
I know this is a short post, but I am in the final push to complete the edits of the book. With any luck, the edits will be done by Feb. 28 and out to my readers by March 2nd or 3rd. Wish me luck and I will continue to update this blog with my progress.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
I am a Facebook addict
Hello, my name is Sarah, and I am addicted to Facebook. Seriously, if there is some conspiracy by a group intent on world-wide domination of the masses, then I am falling for their ploy. I check Facebook at least 6 times a day. It has become my primary form of communication with my sister and many of my friends, and it has lured me in with promise of social inclusion (Sorority Life) and family ties (Mafia Wars). I have learned to farm and am an expert treasure hunter. I know what a high school friend had for lunch and I know that my SIL should never go to Vegas without an electric shock collar. I am connected to friends I haven't spoken with in over a decade, which is pretty cool. However, I still sit up and realize that an hour or more has gone by when all I wanted to do post that nothing important was going on in my life.
And yet, for all the worthless things I do on Facebook, I am unable to break it's hold over me. I'll admit that my addiction reached a higher level when I broke my leg just before Christmas, but now I have no excuse. I have a book that needs to be finished so I can get an agent and then get published. I have to break my addiciton, and I might as well add that to my eating and spending addictions... attack them all at the same time.
I am planning on starting Weight Watchers this month. I know I've done it several times before, but now I am more apt to make my own food then ever before, plus I am gym bound starting Friday, assuming that my shoulder is up and running.
Today is supposed to be the first day of a marathon edit session... unfortunately, I haven't worked on th ebook at all. I know I work better under preassure, but this is insane. Louis was gone this past weekend and I kinda let the rules slack. Now, I'm paying the price. Actually, the kids have been pretty good about going to bed and everything, but still, the evening comes around and I am exhausted.
I feel like I'm in a tough spot. I know I want more kids, no matter what other people say, we are meant to be a larger family. However, I'm meant to be a writer... Unfortunately, having little ones around and trying to focus on getting creative does not seem to go hand. There has to be a way to be a well-balanced mom... ugh.
Louis has decided not to take the day job at Hancock. We talked about it and we can be out of debt sooner if he sticks to nights for just two more years. I know that's a long time, but it will be better for our family to have him home and not have worries about money clouding our time together. It's a good idea, even though it means two more years without him at night. However, we are going to downsize our budget so he can stay home at least one night more a month. It will happen. I will make it happen.
I will have to edit this post tomorrow. In addition to a couple of interruptions, my eyes are getting lower and lower. I really don't like these drug combo, but my shoulder doesn't hurt, so yea!!!!
And yet, for all the worthless things I do on Facebook, I am unable to break it's hold over me. I'll admit that my addiction reached a higher level when I broke my leg just before Christmas, but now I have no excuse. I have a book that needs to be finished so I can get an agent and then get published. I have to break my addiciton, and I might as well add that to my eating and spending addictions... attack them all at the same time.
I am planning on starting Weight Watchers this month. I know I've done it several times before, but now I am more apt to make my own food then ever before, plus I am gym bound starting Friday, assuming that my shoulder is up and running.
Today is supposed to be the first day of a marathon edit session... unfortunately, I haven't worked on th ebook at all. I know I work better under preassure, but this is insane. Louis was gone this past weekend and I kinda let the rules slack. Now, I'm paying the price. Actually, the kids have been pretty good about going to bed and everything, but still, the evening comes around and I am exhausted.
I feel like I'm in a tough spot. I know I want more kids, no matter what other people say, we are meant to be a larger family. However, I'm meant to be a writer... Unfortunately, having little ones around and trying to focus on getting creative does not seem to go hand. There has to be a way to be a well-balanced mom... ugh.
Louis has decided not to take the day job at Hancock. We talked about it and we can be out of debt sooner if he sticks to nights for just two more years. I know that's a long time, but it will be better for our family to have him home and not have worries about money clouding our time together. It's a good idea, even though it means two more years without him at night. However, we are going to downsize our budget so he can stay home at least one night more a month. It will happen. I will make it happen.
I will have to edit this post tomorrow. In addition to a couple of interruptions, my eyes are getting lower and lower. I really don't like these drug combo, but my shoulder doesn't hurt, so yea!!!!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Low on posts right now...
Turns out, somehow I managed to pull my shoulder muscle. I have spent the last 10 days in agony, but now I am set up with muscle relaxers, pain meds and anti-inflammatory prescriptions. Unfortunately, the meds make me super tired and loopy. Great timing... just as I am getting ready to start a marathon sprint to finish the edits. Hopefully tomorrow will allow me the ability to actually get all my cleaning I want to do done and work on the book so I can get to bed at an early time!
I am signing off... I really don't like what the meds are doing to me. If it wasn't so painful to go without them, I would stop taking them immediately. Sorry for the poor editing... okay, I didn't do any!
I am signing off... I really don't like what the meds are doing to me. If it wasn't so painful to go without them, I would stop taking them immediately. Sorry for the poor editing... okay, I didn't do any!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Did God stop talking or did we stop listening?
I was watching an episode of Bones tonight and it got me to thinking... the episode was set in a mental institute and there was a minor character who claimed to be an angel... she was locked away. In the Bible, there are numerous account of prophets. We see Moses and Abraham, etc. So I wonder where the prophets are today... surely God hasn't run out of messages for us. I find it hard to believe that just because the Bible has been published, there are no more wise men (and women) who were sent, by Divine, to teach us.
Of course, there are people like the Dahli Lama and Mother Teresa, people who are revered for their faith and spirituality, but do we see them as prophets? My fear is not that God has stopped sending messages to us, but that we have stopped listening. How do we know that every single person that has been committed is suffering from a psychological disorder? (I know... I'm a renegade psych major, but think about it.) If you were sitting on a bus and some man or woman told you he had a message for you from God, what would you do? Me? I would change seats. I hate to say it, but I live in a world where people solict underage children for sex and murder people of any number of things... we don't live in a kind world. I wonder, if we are ignoring His messengers, what He will do to get our attention.
Most people have heard about the Mayan calendar ending in 2012 and there are some doomsday people who insist that the world is ending in December. Personally, I think the guy in charge of making the calendar got bored and decided to take up a new profession. However, there are some who disagree with the end of the world theory and subscribe to the idea that the consciousness of the human race is evolving. As a species, we are becoming more attuned to a higher level of understanding and if this is the real meaning behind 2012, I fear for those who are more attuned to Spirit. I fear that they will be persucuted. I fear that they will be tortured for their convictions. Perhaps the torture won't come in the form of tar and feather or other Inquisitional method, but in the socially accepted manner of drug induced unconsciousness. I fear that even those who proclaim the word of God will dismiss the reverence of truly holy people.
I know this is a random post, and perhaps I'm way off base, but I felt the need to write it. Life is random, and yet it's all part of a bigger plan. Everything we do set something else in motion.
Of course, there are people like the Dahli Lama and Mother Teresa, people who are revered for their faith and spirituality, but do we see them as prophets? My fear is not that God has stopped sending messages to us, but that we have stopped listening. How do we know that every single person that has been committed is suffering from a psychological disorder? (I know... I'm a renegade psych major, but think about it.) If you were sitting on a bus and some man or woman told you he had a message for you from God, what would you do? Me? I would change seats. I hate to say it, but I live in a world where people solict underage children for sex and murder people of any number of things... we don't live in a kind world. I wonder, if we are ignoring His messengers, what He will do to get our attention.
Most people have heard about the Mayan calendar ending in 2012 and there are some doomsday people who insist that the world is ending in December. Personally, I think the guy in charge of making the calendar got bored and decided to take up a new profession. However, there are some who disagree with the end of the world theory and subscribe to the idea that the consciousness of the human race is evolving. As a species, we are becoming more attuned to a higher level of understanding and if this is the real meaning behind 2012, I fear for those who are more attuned to Spirit. I fear that they will be persucuted. I fear that they will be tortured for their convictions. Perhaps the torture won't come in the form of tar and feather or other Inquisitional method, but in the socially accepted manner of drug induced unconsciousness. I fear that even those who proclaim the word of God will dismiss the reverence of truly holy people.
I know this is a random post, and perhaps I'm way off base, but I felt the need to write it. Life is random, and yet it's all part of a bigger plan. Everything we do set something else in motion.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
February Challenges
I've been thinking about how I'm wanting to make a journey to discover the real me, but I've yet to actually challenge myself to do so. I have these hats that I talk about, but unless I actually wear them, and I mean committ to wearing them, they are no more than imaginary head gear for me to prance around in. So I'm going to challenge myself every month to do more, to do better, and to just do. At first, I thought I would just make up one challenge. One thing that I really wanted to focus on. However, upon closer reflection, I realized that totally defeats my purpose in intergrating all parts of myself into one complete and well-balanced person. So each month, I'm going to pull out my hats, inspect them for wear and tear and then find something, even if it's small, to improve. Think of it as blinging out my life. Adding sparkle and shine to a me that is worn and frayed.
So, here we go:
Wife: This one is easy, and yet not so easy. It's so easy to get caught up in the daily grind that I fail to truly appreciate what my husband does for our family. He sacrifices in so many ways and I don't always acknowledge his contributions. So this month, I will honor our marriage by consciously thinking about what I can do to help him have a better day.
Mother: I've noticed in the last few weeks that I get most frustrated with the kids when I am trying to get something done and they are under foot... the truth is, eventually, no matter how many toys my kids have, they get bored, and TV is not the solution. (Seriously, I'm joining Tipper Gore and saying that violent movies and video games do have a negative impact on children.) For the next 26 days, I will do something constructive and creative with my children. Whether it's getting down on the floor and playing Mater the Greater or providing them with a chance to paint a train or plane, or just sit with them while they work on their "homework", I have a job to teach my children and I can do better!
Friend: I think there is entirely too much mail with strings attached. How many people look forward to opening their mailbox now adays? I'm willing to bet that many, not all, but many don't. Gone are the days when people took the time to actually write letters or send card just bacause. Just because they value someone's friendship or appreciate their kindness. So that's what I'm going to do every day for the rest of the month. Whether it's a quick note or a long letter attempting to catch up with old friends, I'm going to send a letter. Now don't think, just because you don't receive a letter, you aren't important to me. I'm actually thinking about sending cards and letters to people I don't talk to often or haven't spoken with in years, yet who have impacted my life in various ways.
Writer: This is the easiest challenge to decide on, yet the hardest one to accomplish... I have a deadline of Feb 28, 2010 to finish the final draft for peer review. After more than a year, it's time to move on to finding an agent. So that's it. Finish this last rewrite, send it out to readers and my "editor". Hopefully all that will be left is a polishing of the work.
Activist: This one is one I've been wanting to do for years but haven't. I'm switching out all of our cleanign supplies to "green" cleaners. Better for the air quality of our house and better for the water that we drink. I'll post recipes for anyone who wants them.
Soul (formerly Catholic): I renamed this hat because it is more descriptive to what I want in my life. While I am Catholic and growing in my faith, I also see my spirituality as something that can not be defined by one word. Granted, for me, it's a powerful word, but I need to change on the soul level. So this month, I'm going to spend time not only reading the daily scripture, but I'm going to take time to reflect and meditate on what the words mean to me.
Adventurer/Athlete: Yep, it's the dual hat challenge of the year. I am afraid of going to the gym. Seriously, I have mini-panic attacks when I think about it. But I'm never going to get in shape or get over my fear if I don't walk in that door every day and do what I need to do. The mini is coming and so is my 36th birthday. This is the year to make a change in the way I treat my body.
Foodie: Following up on that last line, this months challenge is to make every meal, excluding special occassions, at home. This actually sounds easier than it will be in light of Lent. Every year, Catholics in America take part in fasting and refraining from meat on Fridays as a preparation for Easter. I am not a fan of fish. My husband will eat it and my kids like fish sticks, but honest to goodness fish... we're talking Long John's Silver... and even then, I need it slatthered in tarter sauce... and cheese... and anything else. I've actually got some prett good menus planned, so I'm staying focused and I know I can do this.
Reformed Spend-a-holic: One thing builds upon the next! This month, I am going to make a grocery budget and I am going stick to it! Thank goodness for planned meals.
Athlete: See Adventure/Athlete
Homemaker: My house looks like it has been overrun by the messy elves and they have done a whopper of a job. So this month, I'm going to go room by room and take back my house by not only deep cleaning, but declutter. The elves can't trash what they can't find!
Crafty: Since I'm going to be writing letters to friends and family, I need to bulk up my card stash . This month, I will finally get my scrapbooking area cleaned up and spend a couple nights making cards to send out!
That's it. I think it's a pretty full plate and while some of the challenges may continue into next month, it's a good start on doing the things that I need to do to be the me that's waiting to shine.
So, here we go:
Wife: This one is easy, and yet not so easy. It's so easy to get caught up in the daily grind that I fail to truly appreciate what my husband does for our family. He sacrifices in so many ways and I don't always acknowledge his contributions. So this month, I will honor our marriage by consciously thinking about what I can do to help him have a better day.
Mother: I've noticed in the last few weeks that I get most frustrated with the kids when I am trying to get something done and they are under foot... the truth is, eventually, no matter how many toys my kids have, they get bored, and TV is not the solution. (Seriously, I'm joining Tipper Gore and saying that violent movies and video games do have a negative impact on children.) For the next 26 days, I will do something constructive and creative with my children. Whether it's getting down on the floor and playing Mater the Greater or providing them with a chance to paint a train or plane, or just sit with them while they work on their "homework", I have a job to teach my children and I can do better!
Friend: I think there is entirely too much mail with strings attached. How many people look forward to opening their mailbox now adays? I'm willing to bet that many, not all, but many don't. Gone are the days when people took the time to actually write letters or send card just bacause. Just because they value someone's friendship or appreciate their kindness. So that's what I'm going to do every day for the rest of the month. Whether it's a quick note or a long letter attempting to catch up with old friends, I'm going to send a letter. Now don't think, just because you don't receive a letter, you aren't important to me. I'm actually thinking about sending cards and letters to people I don't talk to often or haven't spoken with in years, yet who have impacted my life in various ways.
Writer: This is the easiest challenge to decide on, yet the hardest one to accomplish... I have a deadline of Feb 28, 2010 to finish the final draft for peer review. After more than a year, it's time to move on to finding an agent. So that's it. Finish this last rewrite, send it out to readers and my "editor". Hopefully all that will be left is a polishing of the work.
Activist: This one is one I've been wanting to do for years but haven't. I'm switching out all of our cleanign supplies to "green" cleaners. Better for the air quality of our house and better for the water that we drink. I'll post recipes for anyone who wants them.
Soul (formerly Catholic): I renamed this hat because it is more descriptive to what I want in my life. While I am Catholic and growing in my faith, I also see my spirituality as something that can not be defined by one word. Granted, for me, it's a powerful word, but I need to change on the soul level. So this month, I'm going to spend time not only reading the daily scripture, but I'm going to take time to reflect and meditate on what the words mean to me.
Adventurer/Athlete: Yep, it's the dual hat challenge of the year. I am afraid of going to the gym. Seriously, I have mini-panic attacks when I think about it. But I'm never going to get in shape or get over my fear if I don't walk in that door every day and do what I need to do. The mini is coming and so is my 36th birthday. This is the year to make a change in the way I treat my body.
Foodie: Following up on that last line, this months challenge is to make every meal, excluding special occassions, at home. This actually sounds easier than it will be in light of Lent. Every year, Catholics in America take part in fasting and refraining from meat on Fridays as a preparation for Easter. I am not a fan of fish. My husband will eat it and my kids like fish sticks, but honest to goodness fish... we're talking Long John's Silver... and even then, I need it slatthered in tarter sauce... and cheese... and anything else. I've actually got some prett good menus planned, so I'm staying focused and I know I can do this.
Reformed Spend-a-holic: One thing builds upon the next! This month, I am going to make a grocery budget and I am going stick to it! Thank goodness for planned meals.
Athlete: See Adventure/Athlete
Homemaker: My house looks like it has been overrun by the messy elves and they have done a whopper of a job. So this month, I'm going to go room by room and take back my house by not only deep cleaning, but declutter. The elves can't trash what they can't find!
Crafty: Since I'm going to be writing letters to friends and family, I need to bulk up my card stash . This month, I will finally get my scrapbooking area cleaned up and spend a couple nights making cards to send out!
That's it. I think it's a pretty full plate and while some of the challenges may continue into next month, it's a good start on doing the things that I need to do to be the me that's waiting to shine.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Home is where the natural cleaners are
So, we are decluttering and cleaning out the house. I can 't wait to have my house back. Anyone who knows me knows that I hate housework. You know how some people, when they get angry or upset or anything , they clean... yeah, not so much with me. But, I am willing to make some changes, if for no other reason than my sanity!
We bunked the boys bed and now the goal is to get as much of their stuff into their room without taking up too much of their play area. So far, it's working out okay, but go figure, we have too much stuff! I'm hoping to get most of their stuff that they no longer play with packed up soon. I'm also getting the kitchen reorganized and the dining room set up to double as a "school room" and the family eating area. I need to get my writing space organized so I can finish the book. Overall, I'm happier with the direction that the house is heading, though there is a lot more left to do.
In light of the additional cleaning I've been doing, I'm trying out all natural cleaners to see how they work. So far, I'm really impressed with the simplicity and the cost. Heck, the stuff I've tried so far actually works! Whohoo! It's going to be a good experience!
We bunked the boys bed and now the goal is to get as much of their stuff into their room without taking up too much of their play area. So far, it's working out okay, but go figure, we have too much stuff! I'm hoping to get most of their stuff that they no longer play with packed up soon. I'm also getting the kitchen reorganized and the dining room set up to double as a "school room" and the family eating area. I need to get my writing space organized so I can finish the book. Overall, I'm happier with the direction that the house is heading, though there is a lot more left to do.
In light of the additional cleaning I've been doing, I'm trying out all natural cleaners to see how they work. So far, I'm really impressed with the simplicity and the cost. Heck, the stuff I've tried so far actually works! Whohoo! It's going to be a good experience!
Monday, February 1, 2010
Crock Pot Magic
So, I'm trying to get back to making home cooked meals, and by get back to, I mean start cooking, but with the active life that we have, I just don't have the time to stand over a stove and try something new, so I've decided to start cooking more with the crock pot. In fact, I have meal plans for the next two weeks and all of them are crockpot based. I'm also turning to my bread machine to help me have fresh bread in the house on a regular basis. The truth is, as nice as it sounds to think I might actually make something French, I really need to figure out how to feed my family on a budget and I need to do it quickly! As I thought about the advantages of crock pot cooking, I realized that while my roast simmered away, I could play games with my kids, do dishes, or heaven forbid, work on the book. Plis, there are some really easy recipes, and I'm finding that, at least tonight's dinner, managed to produce enough food for a second meal.
I'm excited about the prospect of being able to make homemade meals for my kids... now if I can just get them to eat the food I make... we had to do the "there are some little kids who have to go to bed hungary tonight!"
I'm excited about the prospect of being able to make homemade meals for my kids... now if I can just get them to eat the food I make... we had to do the "there are some little kids who have to go to bed hungary tonight!"
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