... how life doesn't always go the way you want it to, but somehow it still ends up working.
My reformed Shopoholic hat has been getting a lot of wear these days. Louis and I sat down and made a budget for the first time in our almost 15 year relationship. We see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it means that we are going to be living pretty frugally for the first time ever. Still, when all is said and done, this time two years from now, we will have only a house payment and a student loan payment, in addition to our monthly bills.
All of this came about becauses Louis was offered a day position, which is something that we both agree we need for our family, but due to the choices we made in the past, the loss of income would have been too hard for us to make up. So, he has to turn it down. I will be honest, I cried. I cried because he works so hard and he spends so much time with us that I know he is burning the candle at both ends. I cried because I get lonely at night when the kids go to bed. And I cried because I am so tired of living seperate lives. So we made a plan to get out of this situation once and for all.
And you know what... it feels great. If we didn't do this now, there is no way we could put our kids in private school (Louis and I still disagree on the terms, but as a product of public schools, catholic schools are private schools). We will be out from under the leacherous banks that have been siphoning off the dignity of the American public. (Netflix has the best documentaries ever!) But what's even greater is that I have a hand in making all this happen, and that we created our plan together. And it's just going to keep getting better!! (oh, and it's going to be hard, but like anything worth doing, it's time to do it right!)
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Writers Block... or is it Editors Block?
Okay, so The Partizans has been completed since October, and I have been editing for a while. In fact, a few days ago, I finished the third edit, which oddly looks a lot like the first one, in terms of changes. It's sitting right next to me and I should be spending this time putting the edits in so I can get the fourth draft done by the end of February and it has me wondering... writing the book was, once I started, pretty easy... it's a charcter driven book, so I let my story lead me... but editing is a completely different story. I would love to have someone come in and type all the changes in for me. I know I should be grateful that I have time (wait... do I have time?) to do it, and I know the edits make the book better, but seriously, I can't wait until I have a contract... I need a typing assistant!
Still, I'm pretty happy with the work, and while not everyone is going to like it, I hope that I will be able to make a nice living writing books that people want to read. I still can't get over the fact that I started with blank sheets and I used the words I learned throughout my life to create 396 pages of pure fiction. Obviously I was influenced by what I like to read, but still, it is amazing to me that I had the dedication and discipline to do it. If you know me very well, you know that I blaze a path... in the beginning, until I get distracted. I blame Myers-Brigg for that, by the way... they should never have created an instrument that told me I was an ENFP. Now I am literaly licensed to be flighty! (See... I digress... AGAIN).
Where was I... oh yes... I was on the Editing thing. I have the ms. sitting right next to me... how hard would it be to put a couple pages in the computer and pretend like I did something tonight? Not hard... but I won't. I'm peaceful tonight and I don't want to spend hours working... I know that's what will happen if I start. One page will not be enough and I should really get an entire chapter done... and maybe just one more schedule. After all, I have imposed a three week deadline on myself. But tonight I will relax. I will watch a movie, read some scripture, pray to the Mary for patience tomorrow and realize that I am completely blessed to be living my dream. The edits will be there tomorrow!
Still, I'm pretty happy with the work, and while not everyone is going to like it, I hope that I will be able to make a nice living writing books that people want to read. I still can't get over the fact that I started with blank sheets and I used the words I learned throughout my life to create 396 pages of pure fiction. Obviously I was influenced by what I like to read, but still, it is amazing to me that I had the dedication and discipline to do it. If you know me very well, you know that I blaze a path... in the beginning, until I get distracted. I blame Myers-Brigg for that, by the way... they should never have created an instrument that told me I was an ENFP. Now I am literaly licensed to be flighty! (See... I digress... AGAIN).
Where was I... oh yes... I was on the Editing thing. I have the ms. sitting right next to me... how hard would it be to put a couple pages in the computer and pretend like I did something tonight? Not hard... but I won't. I'm peaceful tonight and I don't want to spend hours working... I know that's what will happen if I start. One page will not be enough and I should really get an entire chapter done... and maybe just one more schedule. After all, I have imposed a three week deadline on myself. But tonight I will relax. I will watch a movie, read some scripture, pray to the Mary for patience tomorrow and realize that I am completely blessed to be living my dream. The edits will be there tomorrow!
Saturday, January 23, 2010
The Soul Hat is rockin'
I'm going through a change. All the hats I wear are starting to merge together to make up a complete me. Since Saturday I have been really focused on the road I am walking with God. We had the Christ Renews His Parish Weekend recently and I have to say, it was one of the most motivating and uplifting experiences I have had in my life. Not only did I experience and elevation of my faith, I got a chance to see others experience the same miracles that I did last year.
In addition, I have dedicated myself to my role in MOPS. This morning, we had a retreat and we were asked to consider our passions. At first, I was hestiant, as the exploration came in the form of making a poster, but honestly, it helped me to really think about what I am good at and what I want to be better at. It also allowed me to look at my gifts and how I might better serve Him with them.
It's funny... Ten years ago, I would never have posted a blog like this. Heck, two years ago would have been stretching it! But there is something in me that is changing. Something in me that is stirring. A fire is being ignited that has been only embers for more than 15 years. I am finding that, more often than before, I am satisfied with life and with what I have been provided. I want to know more, do more, be more. I want to give more, and ask for less. I want to fill my life with moments instead of things and surround myself with people who make me laugh and support me in good and bad times.
I have also come to realize that I do not place value on the things that really matter. I allow other things to take me away from my family. I have a friend who guards her family time. She passes on invited in order to ensure that she is there for her family. This is not to say that she is not social, or flexible when it comes to unusual circumstances, but she does not, as I have often done, make her family fit into her life, but rather makes her life fit to her family. I hope to be more like this.
Another thing I want to mention... there was a massive earthquake and aftershock in Haiti. Tens of thousands of people perished and the clean up and devastation will continue for years to come. And yet, in this horrible act of mother nature, I am inspired by the act of bravery and the numerous miracles that are being reported. There is great sadness, of course, and my heart breaks for the families who have lost everything they ever knew, but there are examples of how human beings can rise above what they have been given and move forward. I hope that Haiti will stay in the minds of this country and we can change what has happened there from the inside out. I hope that the world will notice the corruption and mulitude of dings against humanity and change the lot of Haiti.
In addition, I have dedicated myself to my role in MOPS. This morning, we had a retreat and we were asked to consider our passions. At first, I was hestiant, as the exploration came in the form of making a poster, but honestly, it helped me to really think about what I am good at and what I want to be better at. It also allowed me to look at my gifts and how I might better serve Him with them.
It's funny... Ten years ago, I would never have posted a blog like this. Heck, two years ago would have been stretching it! But there is something in me that is changing. Something in me that is stirring. A fire is being ignited that has been only embers for more than 15 years. I am finding that, more often than before, I am satisfied with life and with what I have been provided. I want to know more, do more, be more. I want to give more, and ask for less. I want to fill my life with moments instead of things and surround myself with people who make me laugh and support me in good and bad times.
I have also come to realize that I do not place value on the things that really matter. I allow other things to take me away from my family. I have a friend who guards her family time. She passes on invited in order to ensure that she is there for her family. This is not to say that she is not social, or flexible when it comes to unusual circumstances, but she does not, as I have often done, make her family fit into her life, but rather makes her life fit to her family. I hope to be more like this.
Another thing I want to mention... there was a massive earthquake and aftershock in Haiti. Tens of thousands of people perished and the clean up and devastation will continue for years to come. And yet, in this horrible act of mother nature, I am inspired by the act of bravery and the numerous miracles that are being reported. There is great sadness, of course, and my heart breaks for the families who have lost everything they ever knew, but there are examples of how human beings can rise above what they have been given and move forward. I hope that Haiti will stay in the minds of this country and we can change what has happened there from the inside out. I hope that the world will notice the corruption and mulitude of dings against humanity and change the lot of Haiti.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Two More Hats
January 11,2010
So, after some more reflection, I realized I had left out two hat. I know, we're up to twelve, and chances are we will eventually have a baker's dozen. After that, I'm putting a freeze on hats. I have no more room on my hat rack!
So what lucky hats are we adding? Crafty Girl and Homemaker.
Homemaker Hat: It's no secret: I'm not a domestic diva. I am horrible at keeping a spotless house and somedays, it's even hard to keep a neat house... more often than not. But I am determined to get it under control and have a home that is in harmony with the real me.
Crafty Girl Hat: This one is all frills and lace... not... I started getting into crafting as an outlet for being a SAHM, but obviously, I have a lot of other outlets. Now I want to focus my energy so that I can complete some big projects: the boys scrapbooks and building outdoor furniture for our backyard (this is a crossover with adventure, btw).
That's it for now. I'll update later how I did today.... it wasn't the best, but it was better than the worst!
So, after some more reflection, I realized I had left out two hat. I know, we're up to twelve, and chances are we will eventually have a baker's dozen. After that, I'm putting a freeze on hats. I have no more room on my hat rack!
So what lucky hats are we adding? Crafty Girl and Homemaker.
Homemaker Hat: It's no secret: I'm not a domestic diva. I am horrible at keeping a spotless house and somedays, it's even hard to keep a neat house... more often than not. But I am determined to get it under control and have a home that is in harmony with the real me.
Crafty Girl Hat: This one is all frills and lace... not... I started getting into crafting as an outlet for being a SAHM, but obviously, I have a lot of other outlets. Now I want to focus my energy so that I can complete some big projects: the boys scrapbooks and building outdoor furniture for our backyard (this is a crossover with adventure, btw).
That's it for now. I'll update later how I did today.... it wasn't the best, but it was better than the worst!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
The Journey Begins
January 10, 2010
It is decided. I am not the person I am meant to be. It's not anyone's fault really. Somewhere along the way, I lost sight of what and who I am. So this is a journey of self-discovery. It won't always be pretty, and there will be bumps, but when it is all said and done, I will have transformed my life, for the better.
People joke about having to switch hats throughout the day, but on this journey, I am packing ten hats. Ten hats that I wear the most often. The ten that are the most important to me. They are the hats that define me and inspire me. Much like the Sorting Hat in Harry Potter, they guide me to the places I should be. I don't wear them equally, but someday I hope to have balance. The reason I mention these hats is that each of the posts on this blog should, for the most part, fall under one of these hats. Sometimes more than one. They are the parts of me, often segmented from the others, but completely me.
The wife hat, well, that goes without saying. I am married to an amazing human being. How he has managed to stay with me all these years is nothing short of a miracle. But I have not always been the best wife. I am guilty of taking advantage of his kindness and not returning the favor. I expect more from him but do not give more of myself. That is going to change. During Lent, I am embarking on the Love Dare. For those of you who haven't heard of it, it's a 40 day program that helps you put those you love ahead of yourself, all the while focusing on the message of Christ. I'm not starting it until Lent because there are some other areas that need to be addressed before I will be able to complete this goal.
The mother hat. Anyone who knows me knows that I am the mother of two amazing little boys. I am their steward and I have already failed them. This is going to be a hard one, but I know the first thing I need to work on is to have more patience and stop yelling. As I practice this, I will steal a quote from my friend Liz who said every day she strives to exhaust her child, both physically and mentally.
The friend hat. Wow. When I sit back and really look at the women (and men) who are my friends, I am so lucky that they still talk to me. Like many people, I have been more concerned about my own needs and desires and I often fail to put the need of others ahead of my own. I am a hermit by nature. Given the choice of sleeping in or going to a picnic with some friends, my instinct is to stay in my abode. But I feel like I miss out on life when I don't connect with other women. So now is the time to unleash my inner-socialite! I don't have to be the life of the party... just being at the party is a step in the right direction.
The writers hat. I will be published some day. If not this book, than another one, but some day, you will be able to go to the local bookstore and find my name on the shelf... preferably not on the clearance rack. This is a challenge because it requires strict discipline. I hate to admit it, but I am lazy, sometimes. I think this is in part connected to my hermit persona. I need to write something every day, even if it's just a letter to a friend. A more detailed account of my publishing quest, check out http://writinghoosier.livejournal.com.
The activist hat: Two seeds have been planted in my soul: green living and the fight against breast cancer. Unfortunately, that seed is still struggling to sprout. I did an organic garden this summer and I hope to increase the size of my garden this coming summer. And, I am moving all of our cleaning products to homemade remedies, but other than that, our carbon footprint remains the same. As for the fight against breast cancer, I am determined to get more involved with helping to make the lives of women fight Inflammatory Breast Cancer easier. I will blog more about this in the coming days.
The Catholic Hat: In 2004, I completed RCIA and was baptized into the Catholic church. And since then, I have struggled with my decision. Not that I regret becoming Catholic, quite the opposite. But I have struggled to find my place in the Parish. I think this is in part due to my relative newness to the Church and the years of misconceptions I am still working to rectify.
The Adventurer Hat: This is in direct response to my hermit-self. I live my life in fear. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of looking silly. I'm done being that girl. From now on, I will put myself out there is ways I never have before. How exactly I'm going to do this is yet to be seen.
The Foodie: I am guilty of visiting the drive-thru more often than I should, for more years than I care to admit, but things are changing in the Schmitt House. A long time lover of food, it's high time I learned to make the things I love at home. I don't want to master French cooking, but it would be nice to widen my ethnic culinary skills and make foods my kids will eat while still maintaining a healthy and balanced diet for my kids.
The Reformed Spend-a-holic: Okay, this might be a bit premature, but I hope the broken leg I have endured for the last month has done something to quell my need to spend money to feel a void. I am going to try, once again, not to buy anything brand new except for food and gifts and underwear. Plus, I'm going to reuse the things I have, reduce the objects in my house by actually using them, and buy and sell cloths (recycle)... look, we're already wearing our activist hat again!
The Athlete: Again, we are stretching this one, but it will happen. I want to train again in swimming, but in the meantime, I have a lot of working out to do. I have decided that I will be participating in the Indy 500 mini-marathon for years to come. So I am going to have to train... a lot... I think it will be amazing to get the body that I deserve back!
That's it. It's ten hats and a lot of work. But if I start now, by this time next year, the life I am meant to lead will be the one I am living. It's a tall order, but I think I can do it!!!!
Thanks for listening, and check back to see how I'm doing.
It is decided. I am not the person I am meant to be. It's not anyone's fault really. Somewhere along the way, I lost sight of what and who I am. So this is a journey of self-discovery. It won't always be pretty, and there will be bumps, but when it is all said and done, I will have transformed my life, for the better.
People joke about having to switch hats throughout the day, but on this journey, I am packing ten hats. Ten hats that I wear the most often. The ten that are the most important to me. They are the hats that define me and inspire me. Much like the Sorting Hat in Harry Potter, they guide me to the places I should be. I don't wear them equally, but someday I hope to have balance. The reason I mention these hats is that each of the posts on this blog should, for the most part, fall under one of these hats. Sometimes more than one. They are the parts of me, often segmented from the others, but completely me.
The wife hat, well, that goes without saying. I am married to an amazing human being. How he has managed to stay with me all these years is nothing short of a miracle. But I have not always been the best wife. I am guilty of taking advantage of his kindness and not returning the favor. I expect more from him but do not give more of myself. That is going to change. During Lent, I am embarking on the Love Dare. For those of you who haven't heard of it, it's a 40 day program that helps you put those you love ahead of yourself, all the while focusing on the message of Christ. I'm not starting it until Lent because there are some other areas that need to be addressed before I will be able to complete this goal.
The mother hat. Anyone who knows me knows that I am the mother of two amazing little boys. I am their steward and I have already failed them. This is going to be a hard one, but I know the first thing I need to work on is to have more patience and stop yelling. As I practice this, I will steal a quote from my friend Liz who said every day she strives to exhaust her child, both physically and mentally.
The friend hat. Wow. When I sit back and really look at the women (and men) who are my friends, I am so lucky that they still talk to me. Like many people, I have been more concerned about my own needs and desires and I often fail to put the need of others ahead of my own. I am a hermit by nature. Given the choice of sleeping in or going to a picnic with some friends, my instinct is to stay in my abode. But I feel like I miss out on life when I don't connect with other women. So now is the time to unleash my inner-socialite! I don't have to be the life of the party... just being at the party is a step in the right direction.
The writers hat. I will be published some day. If not this book, than another one, but some day, you will be able to go to the local bookstore and find my name on the shelf... preferably not on the clearance rack. This is a challenge because it requires strict discipline. I hate to admit it, but I am lazy, sometimes. I think this is in part connected to my hermit persona. I need to write something every day, even if it's just a letter to a friend. A more detailed account of my publishing quest, check out http://writinghoosier.livejournal.com.
The activist hat: Two seeds have been planted in my soul: green living and the fight against breast cancer. Unfortunately, that seed is still struggling to sprout. I did an organic garden this summer and I hope to increase the size of my garden this coming summer. And, I am moving all of our cleaning products to homemade remedies, but other than that, our carbon footprint remains the same. As for the fight against breast cancer, I am determined to get more involved with helping to make the lives of women fight Inflammatory Breast Cancer easier. I will blog more about this in the coming days.
The Catholic Hat: In 2004, I completed RCIA and was baptized into the Catholic church. And since then, I have struggled with my decision. Not that I regret becoming Catholic, quite the opposite. But I have struggled to find my place in the Parish. I think this is in part due to my relative newness to the Church and the years of misconceptions I am still working to rectify.
The Adventurer Hat: This is in direct response to my hermit-self. I live my life in fear. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of looking silly. I'm done being that girl. From now on, I will put myself out there is ways I never have before. How exactly I'm going to do this is yet to be seen.
The Foodie: I am guilty of visiting the drive-thru more often than I should, for more years than I care to admit, but things are changing in the Schmitt House. A long time lover of food, it's high time I learned to make the things I love at home. I don't want to master French cooking, but it would be nice to widen my ethnic culinary skills and make foods my kids will eat while still maintaining a healthy and balanced diet for my kids.
The Reformed Spend-a-holic: Okay, this might be a bit premature, but I hope the broken leg I have endured for the last month has done something to quell my need to spend money to feel a void. I am going to try, once again, not to buy anything brand new except for food and gifts and underwear. Plus, I'm going to reuse the things I have, reduce the objects in my house by actually using them, and buy and sell cloths (recycle)... look, we're already wearing our activist hat again!
The Athlete: Again, we are stretching this one, but it will happen. I want to train again in swimming, but in the meantime, I have a lot of working out to do. I have decided that I will be participating in the Indy 500 mini-marathon for years to come. So I am going to have to train... a lot... I think it will be amazing to get the body that I deserve back!
That's it. It's ten hats and a lot of work. But if I start now, by this time next year, the life I am meant to lead will be the one I am living. It's a tall order, but I think I can do it!!!!
Thanks for listening, and check back to see how I'm doing.
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